The Perils of Engaging Family and Friends to Fix Your Marriage

Young Couple unable to fix the marriage after a quarrel

Marriage is an intricate and delicate union that can often experience bumps along the way. When these challenges arise, it’s natural to seek support from loved ones. While turning to family and friends for guidance during troubled times may seem like a plausible solution, it often comes with an array of dangers and challenges. In this blog post, we will explore the perils of involving family and friends in an attempt to fix or repair your marriage relationship.

1. Biased Advice:

One of the primary hazards that arise when involving family and friends in your marital issues is the inherent bias they carry. These individuals are typically confined to one side of the story and their perceptions may be clouded by personal opinions or protective instincts. Their advice may be unintentionally slanted towards favoring their kin, leading to imbalanced guidance and ultimately hindering resolution.

2. Lack of Professional Expertise:

Family and friends, while well-intentioned, rarely possess the professional expertise required to address the complexities of marital problems. Fixing a deteriorating marriage involves a profound understanding of human psychology, emotional dynamics, and conflict resolution techniques, which are skills frequently possessed by trained therapists or marriage counselors. Relying solely on the opinions and suggestions of loved ones can inadvertently exacerbate already existing issues, prolonging the healing process.

3. Potential Exacerbation of Conflict:

Involving family and friends in your marital difficulties can unintentionally magnify conflicts rather than alleviate them. Emotional investments and personal attachments can intensify disagreements, leading to worsening tensions between involved parties. The pressure of taking sides might strain familial relationships or friendships, causing further complications beyond the original issue.

4. Invasion of Privacy:

Transitioning from a private marital problem to a public one can be quite invasive and uncomfortable. Entrusting personal matters to your relatives or friends means compromising your privacy. Once divulged, information about your marriage can easily spread, leading to unintended consequences such as gossip or unsolicited opinions from acquaintances. Maintaining privacy and protecting the sanctity of your relationship is paramount during challenging times.

5. Hindering Conflict Resolution:

The involvement of family and friends can undermine the key components of effective conflict resolution within a marriage. Open and honest discussions between partners, which are essential for healing, may be inhibited when others are part of the equation. The focus may shift from resolving issues as a couple to satisfying external parties, potentially preventing the couple from truly understanding and addressing their underlying problems.


While reaching out to family and friends for support during a marital crisis is a common instinct, assessing the potential dangers and challenges is crucial. Seeking professional help from trained therapists or marriage counselors can provide an unbiased perspective and expertise that is often missing when involving loved ones. By focusing on professional guidance and maintaining the privacy and dignity of your relationship, you can navigate the treacherous path of repairing your marriage with greater success.


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